جادة رقم خمسة .

- Your giggles are my first language

Dove ,

I wonder where is the truth ,
is it in my closet ?
is it in the old letters ?
In the winter , Does it wear sweater ?
I left to be  left to be forgotten ,
Dove ,
I feel rotten ,
I feel lonely like Jesus upon the cross ,
I feel like the tears of the cotton ,
Surround by nights and dross ,
dry pillow ,
Hello ,
I craved my head long time ago ,
Dove ,
I wonder where is love ,
Is it here , is it real , ?
Is it under what’s above ?
I can’t think of ,
I was born yesterday ,
My hands are small ,
stubborn ,  I can’t pray ,
Dove ,
I wonder if everything sank ,
Pages , mercy , blank ,
I was long to be in your arms ,
I can’t feel my flank ,
shattered , tombs ,
In those rooms ,
Between walls ,
Dove ,
I wonder if I’m I’m going down into people hearts ,
the one I loved,
harlots , God , arts ,
hate ,
I prowl ,
I want to eat ,
I want to hide , No one,
saw me this weekend in the street ,
I’m scared to be love ,
arrogant ,
I’m sweet ,
thirsty ,
I look for a seat ,
for a fountains ,
for peace ,
for a clean sheet ,
for silence sleep ,
Dove ,
I wonder little by little , if
autumn will naked this pain ,
falls ,
with my beauty , my brain ,
like the Roman pillars ,
like all the innocent  killers ,
Inside of me , burning rain ,
Dove ,
I wonder if the winds will bring me some of your laughter ,
or it will just Uproot my roots ,
I wonder if the sun will burn my last sky,
Or it will shine the dark doors and seed the dead fruits ,
I wonder if your ears will recognize the staleness sounds ,
I’m a gentleman ,  I’m not a cowboy boots ,
When you go through those lines ,
when you appear ,
when you flood the wine , Hoping ,
I’m a gentleman ,
I didn’t hurt any-one on earth ,
I didn’t use so many and or An ,
Dove ,
I wonder if you can find my dreams ,
I’m tired , I searched in every trash can ,
bramble , swamps ,
a dreams deeper than abyss’s ,
harmer than  Good-bey kisses ,
a dreams fly through the open Absence ,
Dove ,
don’t fear me ,
I’m just wondering ,
where the truth is ,
if it dropped away ,
among the heart of the gentlemen ,
or it’s shy , still hidden ,
Dove ,
I just saw , I saw it ,
After all , in the C.N.N .

once upon a time,

A clown , who grow old ,
In search of little happiness ,
hit the road,
In search of an old Lake ,
forgot the area code.

Once upon a time,
went outside,morning ,
Hungry, whispering,
if I were not,
if I were not,
if I were not,
not a clown ,
a basketball shot,
moonlight yacht ,
a hidden spot ,
If I were ,
what I could admit ,
what I hope to commit,

Once upon a time ,
I made it,
I became a clown,
forced by circumstance ,
surely not by accidence ,
forced by autofluorescence ,
yet not by Desires,

Once upon a time,
I was waiting for her ,
backward and forward like a disease ,
I was waiting for her ,
she did not show up ,
then , I turned to a clown,
she sent a prophet,
told me : have a seat ,
I wanted to cry,
I cannot find my eye,
he left,she left,fish jumps,
certainly,another clown came by,
in search of death,In need of love and God,
lost like an ocean but imply,
he sat , smile ,but not for so long,
he stand,put a note in my hand,
clowns does not belong,clowns are not a melody for a song,
it’s not something sad , bad or wrong,
we are just like fish , we cant live outside circus.
we don’t deserve Joy,we give it,
we don’t deserve happiness,we make it,

once upon a time,
I wondered,What would they do if they knew?
I’m clown , will they like the sound that come out of my red nose,?
will they send to my room a black fake rose ?
will they hug me from behind?
will they feel that what’s in my heart is not what’s in my mind?
that what I say is what I remembered what I wasn’t told.
What would they do if they knew?that,
I cant sleep at night As quiet as a mouse,
I’m in the dark,
I don’t have sex desire as a plant louse ,
I’m not on Noah ark,
What would they do if they knew?
every time I look around , among the crowd ,
I don’t see them,I see Plowed fields,A cloud ,
what would they do if they knew?
I’m not the man I used to be ,
It’s him,his and he,
I’m not the one ,
who went to every place I went,
I’m not the boy ,
who slept with the bug inside the tent,
not the one who just came from them house ,
walked that road,smash,break apart,
smoked this Cigarettes,drove his car,
said good-luck and went to hide in wall mart,
not the one who just spent 4 hours ,
with messed up thoughts ,it’s rare,
He left me and he didn’t care,
can anyone please help this clown?
people,people,
can anyone here hear me in this town ?
the clown have to drown,
can anyone pleas love this son of bitch ?
can we pleas switch ?
I wanna be a great good son,
not a handsome kindness bitch.

once upon a time,
the clown,the poor,
will have to kill the man,the rich,
will kill him,
to be a man,
or the man,
have to kill the clown,
to be just a clown,
one day ,
I will kill the man,
and the clown,
both of them,
and live long,
with no I.D .

one day,
I will write down ,
I’m not the man,
who tried to save the world.
I’m not the clown,
who tried to make people happy,
not a man nor a clown ,
I did not entered the earth,the ground,
I did not even entered my life.
I was just walking around.

1 -

she feel like black people,

back in the sixties .

Crying lasted long through the night .

Dogs Biting her breast when the sun rose .

With wet wings before it steaming away .

2 –

And , she said ;

It all is so distant .

It all dreams could drift .

Or hanging high in the room .

Thunder and lightening .

frorm then and on .

she feel like a scaffold .

Glide pain , rainbow falls apart .

dark sky , and slave to lost windows .

3 –

And , she said ; It all is so distant .

How many times more shall I die there ?

dear death, dear Oh dear .

It’s the same darkness here .

she feel overcompensation .

much too much .

No end to it .

- 4

And , she said ; it all is so distant .

Hotels he check into ,

Cities go on ,

seas keep surfacing ,

Music simply on fair ,

Clothes blazing up ,

And in hope of ,

Running .

5 –

And , she feel like the Indians ,

Did you hear that Christophorus Columbus ?

Smith , Pocahontas ,

Did she know this ,

It’s me . My tangled land ,

It’s me . My black hand ,

It’s me . My white soul .

It’s a familiar Homelessness .

Clap , disappear ,

Oh my dear my dear ,

It’s late and I’m not home ,

It’s cold and every-one have a room ,

It’s beep and I’m not asleep ,

It’s terror and It’s deep ,

6 –

It all is so distant .

I will convince myself ,

I will be loved ,

One of these days ,

where every-thing is so distant,

but a Net and your back .

1. Because she’s a girl , I did not hurt her physicaly . I want it to hurt her from the inside , so she can forget me and I can remember her for-ever .

1. 
   



2. 
   

3. As you grow older, There is only one person on this galaxy keeps getting younger; The person of your dreams. I know it sound unfair, I know you jealous, but It doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth to know. There is always something you live for, and someone who dream about you night and day, like a women, waking up with the wrong man .There are billions of people in this earth , but one of them is Mr,right that you always dreamed about .

   Lend me your ear and hold on ! First, climb on the top of your doubts , dig deep into your dream and remember . We search for someone to meet and love. Remember, there is always someone to talk to at midnight when you’re afraid of nothing and of everything, crying beside the river and part of you died and you can’t let it go. That person of your dreams , who shows up when you need a ride to the airport early on morning , when no one around you except your fears , the moonlight and you , only you feeling broken like a single mom and blind like betrayer husband . When nothing bad is happening but you are struggling to find any peace in your confusion, to find something can make you build your hope without losing the control, and without feeling your heart beating faster than the light. The one who will jump if you jump, cry if you cry , and smile because you are so not very bad at kissing . The one who shows up when your apartment burns down and you have no place to live. The one who opens his door , makes sure you have everything you would possibly need and then drinks a cup of hot chocolate with you until you both fall asleep giggling like a baby’s .If you have any doubt that meeting the person of your dream is something impossible , sorry madam , you’re wrong! Don’t ever ’’ how ‘‘ a doubt before you start with doubting your own how . Do you think you’re the only one who loves singing loudly on the shower? Do you think that you are the only one who is spinning around, crawling the ground and chasing a strangers shadows? I don’t think so , because somewhere on God’s earth , there is a lonely person , uncompleted man , who want to be in your profile pictures and all of your favorite photos on the facebook and on your secret album that you hid under your bed . The one who does not mind to be a naive and knows the back story on every boy you met .The one who will bet his friend on $1000 that your bridesmaid will cry at your wedding more than you . The one who don’t have all of the answers for your questions but maybe he has a clues . The one who is starving for the truth , and thrill to sleep in a tent with you to raise money for charity . The one who hates your handwriting but he reads your letters with a dreamy eyes . Last , I strongly believe that having a heavy doubts about everyone and reveal about everything is good , but in this case , whatever We do , it is not going to work . you can kill someone in your dreams, but you can’t kill yourself on other people dreams .
   
   After leaving the doubts about if it’s really impossible to meet the Pearson of our dreams or not behind us , I think about this know ; Am I ready for love ? Am I ready to give my last name to someone else ? Am I the one ? Am I ready to be patient, kind, and faithful ? Can I stay at home , Watch out for the children , drink responsibility and think socially ? Am I sure that I want to be held in her captivity ? They say ” watch what you ask for because you might receive. ” Someone told me that I always seem like I’m ready to meet someone important. I mean , I usually wear a tie while am giving birth to a poem . I don’t have to lose a few pounds , because I’m already skinny like a toothpick . I don’t have to look nice , behave gently , and act like I really care if the blue t-shirt look better than the green blouse on you as long as I’m not going to get married with you . But there is a moment to learn maturity . we’re open to any change as long as we still dream . As long as we trust in some way and think we can do it constantly . You have to know exactly about what are going to do after you met the person of your dreams . It seem like a lottery , most of us want to win but we have no idea , where we would spent all the money.? After all , I think It’s necessarily to rolls the window down , makes some waffles , put the foot on the chair and have a plane .

   In the end, I hope each of you will meet the person of his/her dreams . We all deserve to love and be loved . We all deserve to be recognizable . W exist to make our dreams exist too . We are not a fairytale , dinosaurs or an aliens . Let all the world know that we don’t need a smoke signals to guide us among the pavements of our own dreams . Let all the world know that it’s normal to dream that somebody will come soon , hiding a ring behind his back , bend over , kneel , and feel thrills to touch your hand and to fill the empty space between your fingers by kissing and holding them tight . Let all the world know that the person of your dreams will read for you a poems when you wake up before any such thing like “ Good morning baby , I belong to you . “ Let all the world know that the sunrise from a tropic isle is not fake and you can see it throw his eyes .Now, Walk along , sleep well and Don’t tell them where you are going with him . To other dreams , or maybe to other life and world . Don’t let your life get the beast of you , cause there is always someone outside your circle , far away from your bed and pillow , near from your heart and soul ,dreaming of you ,driving his/her DNA crazy, looking for a High-way , dying and fighting all the way up to your dreams just to meet you for real , because at the end ” it all comes down to one . ” Me and you !

1. Put your back on my back and your life in my laundry life . Your secrets doesn‘t have to be real or dirty . Speak , say something , anything like ; I’m bad , boring , or a freek . Imagine me whatever you want and you need . Maybe  a popcorn ? , a statements , a Mexican tequila , honest thief, hope , barrel , or what about Naive ? Imagine that I’m cool , a female , signed photos by  Maradona or I’m fool . Or you know what ? I’m just a stranger person at the airport who cares about your eyes when you said “  I’m a facebook whore ” . The stranger person that you talk with him , he think of your moths , and Does not care enough about your hair gel . I mean , until your plane take off , and the tractor of my brain look greener enough to came with a new love story .
2. Usually , I get what I want , and I loss what I wish .
3. I just wanna whisper in her ears that when she left ; that’s hurt me allot . Really , more than what i was expected . She let me down more than what the facts  says . She have to come back for tow reasons . One , I am a heart-breaker , and tow : i gave her before she left 20 $ . I want her , but sorry : I want my money either .
4. I have a heavy cable , and a broken heart . Help !
5. There is no where to run . It’s  like that’s the case of being hurt .
6. I simply love you , and no one can compensate you .
7. I don’t think I ever will  break another person’s heart. Maybe his/ her mind !
8. I’m a rich homeless for almost 3 years now .
9. Don’t go to bed angry * .
10. I got nothing personal against myself , and the plant of Ellen.
11. I guess  I am extraordinary addicted to somebody else . I mate her in a place that most of them love her more than they love me . : ( .

1. There is no  hero in my sky .
2. There is no  butt in my body .
3. There is no way to explain that the sound of  the silence look like a pure stripper .
4. There is no chipotle in the hell . ?
5. There is no people told me ; I’m a disappointments shades .
6. There is no war in Iraq since 1980 , It’s just an old Hollywood movie .
7. There is no glory in love . Okay that’s  it . It’s just a regular war . Sort of.
8. There is no hero in her sky too .
9. There is no next month , and there is no Mar . isn’t that fascinating ?  I need a nap .
10. There is no natural boob’s here . It’s like every women is Diane Lane and every difference person is unfaithful !
    

1. I have a habit of guessing the color of the underwear that people wear in New Years Eve .
2. If you want to make me happy , just tell me something bad about your Papa .
3. It seem like i love someone I don’t know him or love him yet .
4. I don’t hate you , but I’m not that into you .
5. I met her online , but she broke-up with me in the bakery .
6. It’s not hard to say ; ” Good bey or gonna miss ya , or c ya ” to yesterday . It’s just  sound stupid and unfair to say ” Ola , bonjou , welcome , and Halalouia “  to tomorrow without any idea about it .  I think we  should know , at least about the first hour of Monday .
7. I will stop pretending that  I’m looking at her paperwork , while I’m falling down around her boot’s .
8. For God sakes , I need to get a glimpse of  someone Checking Or saving account please . 
9. Isn’t funny that every time i  remove your photograph’s  from the frame’s , i found that i have a lot’s of them inside my freakin memory studio ?
10. When I am very, VERY drunk ; i call Domino’s to order 5 cheesy Brade for the girl next door . She is to much good when she got drunk too . Last week end , she  ordered Valentines Day cards for me .  I Wish she didn’t do that cause she was drunk . i saw her again in the President’s Day . She was hang over ,  and she gave me just a Lazy  high-five : ( .
11. I Despite the fact that being myself  is the only way to understand the Bullshit dude who lives inside me without  paying any rent for his excessive of using my feeling  , or given any God damn tips for making yummy donuts by using my knowledge’s , and My dirty tastey tonguey .
12. Yup In deed , I would like to hear children talks about politic , Sectarian strife,and money , so maybe the adults will have the chance to fuck-up what has  left from the toy story .
13. And know with The only one , my brother from another mother , my tattoo , and my Nnnigga:  buzz lightyear .

1. No one will know about ya , because you kinda of a far away Lands , far away Christmas  , far away whispers , far away pancakes , and far away Galaxy’s . You Kinda of; a female aliens with so , so , so much money .
2. No discos , Coffees , shops ,book store , Sugar Body Scrub , Porno , sneezes , heavy boots , stay up all night , toothpaste in hair , or even a bathroom ; My Path is different .
3. Love is the ugly side of me .
4. All my friends are in Paradise , Only one in Hell with his Fiancee .
5. Hi , and Welcome to my shoe .
6. I’m not sure what color are you , But I’m blue .
7. I’m wearing a black bra with a white shirt .
8. Why they always ask me about the time ,  and a Kleenex ?
9. . I love you . I will wait for you . Come back
10. My Dad is a Muslim Priest , and i have been his secret for 21 years .