جادة رقم خمسة .

once upon a time,

A clown , who grow old ,
In search of little happiness ,
hit the road,
In search of an old Lake ,
forgot the area code.

Once upon a time,
went outside,morning ,
Hungry, whispering,
if I were not,
if I were not,
if I were not,
not a clown ,
a basketball shot,
moonlight yacht ,
a hidden spot ,
If I were ,
what I could admit ,
what I hope to commit,

Once upon a time ,
I made it,
I became a clown,
forced by circumstance ,
surely not by accidence ,
forced by autofluorescence ,
yet not by Desires,

Once upon a time,
I was waiting for her ,
backward and forward like a disease ,
I was waiting for her ,
she did not show up ,
then , I turned to a clown,
she sent a prophet,
told me : have a seat ,
I wanted to cry,
I cannot find my eye,
he left,she left,fish jumps,
certainly,another clown came by,
in search of death,In need of love and God,
lost like an ocean but imply,
he sat , smile ,but not for so long,
he stand,put a note in my hand,
clowns does not belong,clowns are not a melody for a song,
it’s not something sad , bad or wrong,
we are just like fish , we cant live outside circus.
we don’t deserve Joy,we give it,
we don’t deserve happiness,we make it,

once upon a time,
I wondered,What would they do if they knew?
I’m clown , will they like the sound that come out of my red nose,?
will they send to my room a black fake rose ?
will they hug me from behind?
will they feel that what’s in my heart is not what’s in my mind?
that what I say is what I remembered what I wasn’t told.
What would they do if they knew?that,
I cant sleep at night As quiet as a mouse,
I’m in the dark,
I don’t have sex desire as a plant louse ,
I’m not on Noah ark,
What would they do if they knew?
every time I look around , among the crowd ,
I don’t see them,I see Plowed fields,A cloud ,
what would they do if they knew?
I’m not the man I used to be ,
It’s him,his and he,
I’m not the one ,
who went to every place I went,
I’m not the boy ,
who slept with the bug inside the tent,
not the one who just came from them house ,
walked that road,smash,break apart,
smoked this Cigarettes,drove his car,
said good-luck and went to hide in wall mart,
not the one who just spent 4 hours ,
with messed up thoughts ,it’s rare,
He left me and he didn’t care,
can anyone please help this clown?
people,people,
can anyone here hear me in this town ?
the clown have to drown,
can anyone pleas love this son of bitch ?
can we pleas switch ?
I wanna be a great good son,
not a handsome kindness bitch.

once upon a time,
the clown,the poor,
will have to kill the man,the rich,
will kill him,
to be a man,
or the man,
have to kill the clown,
to be just a clown,
one day ,
I will kill the man,
and the clown,
both of them,
and live long,
with no I.D .

one day,
I will write down ,
I’m not the man,
who tried to save the world.
I’m not the clown,
who tried to make people happy,
not a man nor a clown ,
I did not entered the earth,the ground,
I did not even entered my life.
I was just walking around.

1 -

she feel like black people,

back in the sixties .

Crying lasted long through the night .

Dogs Biting her breast when the sun rose .

With wet wings before it steaming away .

2 –

And , she said ;

It all is so distant .

It all dreams could drift .

Or hanging high in the room .

Thunder and lightening .

frorm then and on .

she feel like a scaffold .

Glide pain , rainbow falls apart .

dark sky , and slave to lost windows .

3 –

And , she said ; It all is so distant .

How many times more shall I die there ?

dear death, dear Oh dear .

It’s the same darkness here .

she feel overcompensation .

much too much .

No end to it .

- 4

And , she said ; it all is so distant .

Hotels he check into ,

Cities go on ,

seas keep surfacing ,

Music simply on fair ,

Clothes blazing up ,

And in hope of ,

Running .

5 –

And , she feel like the Indians ,

Did you hear that Christophorus Columbus ?

Smith , Pocahontas ,

Did she know this ,

It’s me . My tangled land ,

It’s me . My black hand ,

It’s me . My white soul .

It’s a familiar Homelessness .

Clap , disappear ,

Oh my dear my dear ,

It’s late and I’m not home ,

It’s cold and every-one have a room ,

It’s beep and I’m not asleep ,

It’s terror and It’s deep ,

6 –

It all is so distant .

I will convince myself ,

I will be loved ,

One of these days ,

where every-thing is so distant,

but a Net and your back .

1. Because she’s a girl , I did not hurt her physicaly . I want it to hurt her from the inside , so she can forget me and I can remember her for-ever .